Bee At View

I think I have reached a point in life where I’m just floating around . My life has become more like a pattern than me looking forward to the day .

Tonight I watched the drama’s Thirty-nine and it brought me back to Hi Bye , Mama . There is a scene where the father cries out for his daughter to comeback . I finally understood his cries . In that moment , I wanted to cry out for her too, just bring her back for a second , just to say something to me. That is all I need.

The wrecking feeling and cries I did when I last saw her were just the same as the actress’s father in the drama . I was crying for her to comeback and now I have lost a small touch with the world , warmth.

Sometimes I look up to the sky and be in wonder how beautiful she looks but recently it’s been raining . My gloomy , tired self is also crying tears as she is . That she misses me too.

Sometimes I wonder how scared she was connected to all those machines . Sometimes I wonder if I took the hint of the late night call from my brother , I should have sent her an I love you text before she loses contact with the world . Sometimes I wish I called her on Sunday on the bright sunny day after a week long of rain . Sometimes I despise the rain for making her condition worse . And most of the times I wish I was at home than at school during her last days . And maybe , only maybe it could not have hurt like it does now.