I have never envied someone’s life .

I have never wished to be in a persons position in their life .

I have never wished to be this sad .

I have never known that I will pass through a phase without you .

I never knew I would miss you this bad .

I miss having you around … talking , joking around , taking a drive , doin the things we used to do .

I look at young kids who yell and cry for their moms .

Adults who joke with theirs , while others ardue with them then get upset .

Nonetheless , they still have a mother around .

I miss having a mother .

I miss saying mommy .

I miss annoying you .

Remember when I wrote that letter for you for him , I lied at the end .

I am not fine . I am not okay.

I am lonely ,

I miss you .

Ma , he is lonely .
He is really lonely you know ?
You were a big piece in his life and now it seems as if he is floating around while trying to stay ground .

Mom , he can’t sleep peacefully .
He can’t sleep peacefully you know ?
He can’t enjoy a simple day at home you know ?
He tries to connect with people but they have their own lives
Please give him a better life
Give him a reason to feel that life is not empty without you
Give him a reason to appreciate the quietness and the emptiness.
Please look after him when I am not around .
Please give him happiness that’s all I wish for .

And me ? Don’t worry , “I’m fine” .